can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
