Need sex. Gaining weight.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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