I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
