Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just puked most of my soul out..
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize