Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
