2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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