Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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