Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
