I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
