I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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