i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
