You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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