is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
