Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
