I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dignity is for republicans.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
