Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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