Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
