I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
