He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dick very happy bro
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
