dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
