Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
