I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
