How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
