forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
