Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
