This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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