He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
