the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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