you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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