i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
