I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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