Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You pole danced in your parka.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
