He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
