Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
