she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
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he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
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Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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