we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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