Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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