nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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