She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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