Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
