So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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