so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish you could order shots online.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
