I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
