i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
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Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
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How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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