Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
