ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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