Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
