i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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