Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
