You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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