his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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