just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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