we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
