Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize