Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
