they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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