Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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