I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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