yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
