i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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