I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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