How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
