i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
